


I Don't Need You

by Starlord_451



Series: Kliego Week 2020 [5]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Ben's death, Canonical Child Abuse, Diego Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, F/M, Five is the soulmate guru, Incest, Klaus Hargreeves Deserves Better, M/M, Pre-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, The main ship is Kliego, all the others are just mentioned and VERY secondary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:21:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27261157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starlord_451/pseuds/Starlord_451
Summary: “What’s a soulmate, Grace?” Three asked and suddenly everyone’s attention was on her.Grace smiled and it was a very pretty smile. “It’s the person that shares your soul. Everyone has a soulmate, someone that will understand you better than anyone else.”OrWhen you are part of the Umbrella Academy, a soulmate bond can become an extremely dangerous weakness.Kliego Week 2020 – Day 5: Soulmate AUOR Fairytale/Mythology AU
Relationships: (mentioned) Ben Hargreeves/Original Female Character, (pre) Diego Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves, (secondary) Luther Hargreeves/Allison Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Vanya Hargreeves
Series: Kliego Week 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1984837
Comments: 9
Kudos: 80
Collections: Kliego Week 2020





	I Don't Need You

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there!
> 
> I am very excited for this and teensy bit scared as well hehe  
> I really like Soulmate AUs and I've planned a series for this AU in particular. The next work will come out next week, it will be called "Apocalypse Suite" (I know, I know, I could have thought of something a bit more original but whatever, titles are not my strong point) and it will be multichaptered.  
> As for this fic, there are some points - especially concerning how the soulmate bonds work - that aren't explained properly because they're part of the main plot which will be revealed later on.
> 
> Hope you like it! :)

**1993**

Grace’s gown was soft under his chubby fingers. He liked her dresses. They were always so much brighter than those their other nannies used. She was probably the brightest thing in the academy.

Number Two had just finished his test for the day, acing it because he was good like that and had gone with his other siblings to find refuge in the kitchen, holding out his hands for Grace to hold him. She always did. That’s another thing he liked about her: it was their secret, he thought, Dad certainly wouldn’t have approved the hugs.

“Grace” Number Three’s voice called out to the nanny and Two opened his eyes, not aware that he had closed them but he always felt quite sleepy after the tests.

“Yes?” Grace elegantly walked towards the table, setting Two down on the stool, next to his brothers and caressed Three’s frizzy hair. Two let himself fall in the seat next to Four and giggled when Six made a funny face at him, doing one in return.

“What’s a soulmate, Grace?” Three asked and suddenly everyone’s attention was captured.

They had found the word during their morning studies and Pogo had ignored all their questions, which was quite unfair, Two thought. Four had immediately said that Pogo didn’t know the answers, mocking him for his ignorance on the subject until he got punished for his insolence as so often happened to him.

Grace smiled and it was a very pretty smile. “It’s the person that shares your soul. Everyone has a soulmate, someone that will understand you better than anyone else.”

Three scrunched her nose in thought “Like the prince and the princess of the night-time stories?” she asked with gleaming eyes.

Grace’s features fell into another tender smile “Well, it could be, but it could also be a friend. The best of friends, it’s a person that you’ll love unconditionally.”

“Can I be your soulmate?” Two asked Grace, excited at the prospect.

Grace laughed “No, silly! You already have your soulmate, all of you have!”

This revelation was met with enthusiastic chatter and gasps.

“Who is it?” Five asked, leg bouncing in energy, echoed by all the others.

“In a few years you’ll find out: you will be able to read on one of your arms what they’ll write on theirs, just like they will see what you write on yours.”

A chorus of _ooohs_ and _aaaahs_ filled the room, but the excitement of this discovery was cut short by their Dad.

“What is this nonsense you’re telling them? I’ll have to reprogram you!” Hargreeves thundered, clearly upset.

Two felt his eyes sting, he hated when Dad yelled at Grace for something that was their fault. He felt his lip wobble as he realized that he didn’t have the courage to stand up for Grace, he was too afraid of their Dad.

“You children were born for purposes much bigger than finding your soulmates. This is a distraction from your mission: you need to get ready to save the world. If I hear one of you speak about this again, I will make sure that there will be consequences.”

The children cowered in fear, Two could feel Four and Six huddling close to him and he automatically shot his hand out for Four to hold, so they could both get comfort from the contact.

**1996** ~~~~

Number Two didn’t remember a time without training.

He certainly did remember a time where training was a lot less difficult.

Number Two wasn’t clever like Five or sly like Three but he did have some doubts, small questions that started from nothing and were now building up, twisting in his mind and poisoning sunny days, leaving him with a deep sense of discomfort.

He knew that they were all special. He loved that he was special.

He could see with his own eyes that they were extraordinary, from the bruises he got every time he played with One to the monsters that exploded out of Six’s stomach every time he got angry.

But suddenly, being special wasn’t that cool anymore.

It all started with his name.

Why couldn’t he be One? He was sure that Number One wasn’t all that better than him. He didn’t like being Number Two, it wasn’t fair! At least he wanted an explanation on why he got to be Number Two.

Then, he understood that he had no name.

That was the realization that hurt the most: his Dad gave them numbers. He only cared about their performance, he’ll never be interested in _them_.

To be fair, he didn’t work that out on his own. Five told him, bitterly, with tears in his eyes.

“We’re an experiment. Nothing more.”, and it was true: the constant note taking, the tests, the training program, the lectures, … even when they were asleep, they were attached on a machine to check their powers.

“We aren’t people here. We are tools. His tools.” Five had said. And Two didn’t know much but he knew to trust his clever brother. He was right.

Two didn’t like living with that knowledge but he stayed silent because the fear for his father outgrew his desire for a life that felt more real, more _normal_.

Their training routine changed on their seventh birthday.

They had to fight each other. Dad pushed them to be especially aggressive and competitive, which came very easy to Two once he found himself against One.

Thing is Number One always won and it was never a fair game. No one could win against him and he was starting to get mean and arrogant about it. Two hated him for it.

They were trained in basic combat and in anything that could be useful during a mission: picking locks, survival training, handling weapons and wounds of any kind.

But the real torture came with the individual training.

Two was given a knife for the first time. He cried for hours after cutting himself while trying to throw it and the sight of blood made him queasy.

When Dad shouted at him for being weak, Four held his hand tightly, taking him to Mum and never leaving his side. They both got punished afterwards.

Before, all the siblings would brag and boast about their individual training, in a sort of competition on who had the best power, but now nobody talked about it anymore, it was another thing to add in their list of taboos, right under “soulmates”.

And that’s the last thing that had changed in their daily routine: the constant hunt for the soulmate bond.

It started with a morning check of their arms that was repeated every three hours: Hargrevees had forbidden them to try and contact their soulmate, and at the same time he wanted to make sure that they weren’t contacted in return.

Two found himself daydreaming about his soulmate more and more. It was the only normal aspect of his life and maybe he would feel like a real person, not a tool, if he finally found out who his soulmate was.

Then it happened.

That night Two was having trouble sleeping, the latest injury from his training with knives was hurting him so much that all he wanted to do was go to his Mum and hug her, so that she could take the pain and the exhaustion away. He felt so desperate thinking that he would have to endure the next day of training with little to no sleep because his brain just wouldn’t shut up.

Then, Two felt a tingling sensation on his left arm and gasped. He lifted the covers and he read the words scrawled on his skin, feeling lightheaded and scared.

_Hi :)_

He held his breath, he had never been more scared in his life. What happened now if Hargreeves found out? He knew that the words wouldn’t last more than three hours on his arms and his check would be in at least five hours but there were the cameras, right? Dad had eyes everywhere, he would know.

Two glanced at where he knew there was a camera hidden in his room and put his back to it, the tingling sensation returning on his arm again.

_What’s your name?_

He couldn’t answer him, he would never answer him.

It would be a miracle if his dad hadn’t seen him. If he got up from the bed now to grab a pen he wouldn’t have a chance of getting out of this unscathed.

And what could he reply to that? Two? He felt bile rise in him at the thought.

He was too afraid. Long minutes passed and Two found himself dreading the moment those words on his arm would disappear. He hoped that his soulmate would write more, that small contact had left him shivering in fear but he had also never felt so alive.

He had someone out there for him, maybe they could take him away from his father. He would bring his siblings along.

_I’m Eric_

Eric. Eric. He passed his finger on the name and whispered it, tasting the word in his mouth. Eric. A common name, like the prince in the Little Mermaid that Three and Four definitely had a crush on, like the protagonist in the book that Six was currently reading, like the reporter that wrote Dad’s favourite passages in the newspaper.

Eric. Eric, like his soulmate. Diego spent the rest of the night staring at the words on his arm until they disappeared, forgetting just how tired he was, forgetting that his father probably knew.

From what Five had explained to them in secret, if he replied to his soulmate then the bond would open.

“It’s like a bridge” Five had said “It needs to be connected on both sides to work. Once both soulmates have made contact with one another, you can actually _feel_ the bond in your soul.”

Diego wondered what it would be like to feel Eric through their bond. He had fantasized about it so much and now he had the power to make it happen. But the risks were too many and the fear of what would happen to him the day after was so big that it had him paralyzed to his bed, unable to do anything.

The morning came and his Dad acted like he usually did. The check went on undisturbed. No one knew anything.

Two didn’t excel training that day, he didn’t listen to his morning lecture, he didn’t play with his brothers. He was thinking.

Should he reply? He was going to. Yes, he would hide a pen in his pyjamas and write to him, to Eric.

He was trying to figure out how to smuggle the pen without Dad finding out when Four sat next to him in the garden. Two didn’t have to look to know it was him: the moment their legs brushed he could feel it was his pale brother from how cold he was.

Four had always been Two’s favourite brother, though he would never admit it. He was the craziest of them, always put himself in trouble and everything about him was so very loud. He would talk and talk and talk for hours.

That’s why Two was immediately worried for him: Four had been weirdly silent all day, he hadn’t spoken a word since the morning lesson which was very, very unusual for him.

“Are you okay?” Two asked, afraid that he would set Four off into one of his very loud complaining dramas. He was always so exaggerated.

But to his great concern Four’s eyes were welled with tears, lip wobbling and still he kept quiet.

“W-w-what happened? Did One hurt y-y-you? I’m going to b-b-beat him up!” he thundered, ready to get up and punch One for making Four cry.

“No, no, no.” Four’s voice trembled grabbing Two’s uniform and sitting him back down. Two put his arm around Four’s shoulders hugging him.

He had always felt very protective of Four, he didn’t know exactly why. Maybe it was because Four always managed to get in the worst troubles or maybe it was because he always had his back when arguing with One and Three. Or maybe it was how Four had the habit of hiding behind Two, making him feel very important.

“W-w-what is it then?”

“Yesterday Three said that it’s lucky that I can’t talk to my soulmate because they would find me annoying and wouldn’t want to talk to me ever.” Four mumbled against his shoulder which was getting damp with tears.

“W-w-what d-does s-she k-k-know anyway?” he said, angry at their sister “Y-your s-s-s-soulmate is g-going to l-love you f-f-for who you are. D-d-don’t w-w-worry.”

Two knew he wasn’t very good at comforting people, but Four usually hung upon his every word so he was very out of his depth when his reassurances fell on deaf ears.

“But, Two, I…yesterday I…” he stopped, and clenching his fists he finally sighed “Doesn’t matter.”

Four was hiding something from him. What had he done this time?

Still, his brother was too shaken, Two didn’t want to pry and make him feel worse so he just held him tight until he calmed down.

That night he smuggled a pen in his bed, hid it under the covers to avoid being seen but when the moment came he stopped.

He spent the night clenching the pen in his fist, crying his eyes out.

He didn’t want to tell Eric that his name was Two.

What would he think of him?

After that night his soulmate tried to contact him again, always at the same time seemingly ignoring the fact that he never answered.

_Are you still asleep?_

And it occurred to him that Eric probably thought he never saw his messages.

Then why hadn’t he tried to contact him at a different hour? Was it possible that his soulmate lived in another continent? Was that why he always contacted him in the middle of the night?

He had to ask Five, he knew everything. Maybe he could pinpoint exactly where Eric was if he could figure out the time zone from which he was writing.

A week passed by, Four returned to his giddy self and Two remained awake most nights, waiting for the messages to appear on his arms.

All was going on as usual until one morning, during their daily check on their arms, Six begrudgingly showed their Dad a writing on his forearm.

Five later told him that it was just a drawing of a few stars, there wasn’t even a word but Dad had acted immediately.

They all thought that Six was being punished for being contacted, but once their brother reappeared during dinner he revealed that he had been inside Dad’s lab all day, doing all sorts of weird examinations and tests.

Five and Six theorized that Hargreeves wanted to know what effects the soulmate phenomenon had on them and their powers.

Two shivered. He was never going to turn his soulmate bond into a test, a tool. He was never going to drag Eric in this with him. Eric was never going to be a lab rat like him.

His dad would never get a hold of him.

**1999**

From that day Ben had his bond tested once a week and, a year later, was joined by Five who had a message appear on his forearm during training, reading:

_Did you mean what you said?_

Five got in a lot of trouble for breaching the no contact rule, as the writing so clearly implied.

If Diego had any remaining doubts of contacting his soulmate, seeing Five after his punishment had definitely cleared them.

He had a name now. A name he was proud of.

Despite that, he firmly refused to contact Eric. He did hover with a pen on his skin for long moments on more than one occasion, but he never wrote anything.

Not only was he afraid of putting him in danger, of being discovered by his father, but he was also feeling more and more conflicted about it all because during all this time Eric hadn’t stopped trying to communicate with him even once. He was relentless. And maybe his father’s talk of how soulmates could distract you from saving the world was starting to get to him.

He liked the idea of being a hero, he didn’t want to give his father another reason that made him less than Luther.

If Eric was going to be a distraction, then he would just have to deal with his silence. He didn’t know him anyway. He wouldn’t understand.

Diego hated when his bond was examined by his father. It only happened once a month since his research was mainly focused on Five and Ben who had shown the contact. Ben especially for some reason unbeknownst to them.

Klaus always hung close to him before his examinations and he felt weirdly protective of him every time it was his turn to go inside the lab. He hated seeing those big eyes turn sad and moisty and he felt pure dread every time the door of the lab separated them, a deep feeling of unease making him jittery and angry.

Maybe it was because every time Klaus was being tested Luther teased him, saying that he had anger issues, called him a freak on more than one occasion, and that earned him a punch.

Or perhaps it was due to Five constantly observing him, shaking his head and muttering “moron” - he got his brother a black eye the second time it happened.

Or it was Pogo and his heavy stare, a pen in his hand noting down every reaction he had once the door closed behind Klaus’ back.

Diego had to admit that he was growing more and more attached to Klaus, his instinct to protect him from any kind of threat had surged a few months prior, once he saw his brother come out of his individual training.

He didn’t exactly know how he was training. Ben and he only happened to be in the infirmary nursing wounds from a duel with Luther, when Klaus had been brought back: his skin so pale that seemed translucent, eyes wide in fear and circles black like bruises on his eyes, trembling like a leaf, his knees scraped and his nails bloody.

He couldn’t stand on his own, Mum had to carry him to the bed next to Ben’s. When Mum conveniently turned her back after tending to him, pretending not to see them, Ben and Diego had huddled close to Klaus, giving warmth and offering hugs.

Diego and Ben shared a look when Klaus felt for their pulse while hugging them back, tears silently streaming down his face. Ben went to bring him some Kleenex and Diego held Klaus more securely, his hand keeping his brother’s head on his shoulder, the other arm wound tight around his back, Klaus was shaking from his very core.

“He’s not going to hurt you anymore. I swear Klaus, you’re never going to be this way again.”

Of course those were nothing but words, because when it came down to facts, Diego got the worst of his punishments for trying to protect his brother the next time he had to go to individual training and when they met again in the infirmary, Klaus begged him never to do it again.

That night he got another message from his soulmate and the words written on his skin made him so angry he cried.

_Do you believe in heroes?_

Dad was looking over them with a smug grin, his words echoing in Diego’s ears as his stomach clenched in fear. “You have to get ready to reveal yourself to the world, children. The moment will soon come.”

A week earlier, their father had announced that Pogo would tattoo them with the symbol of the Umbrella academy. Now, Diego was no coward, but if there was something that he was deadly afraid of, then it was needles.

Still, he kept his mouth shut and made sure that no one could pick up on his fear while they all waited for the fated day.

“Will our soulmates have the tattoo too?” Klaus asked when they found themselves in the boy’s bathroom the night before the tattooing, all brushing their teeth.

“Don’t be dumb, Klaus.” Five snapped, spitting in the sink.

Diego hit him from his side with an angry “Don’t call him dumb” and was rewarded with Klaus’ pasty smile.

“It’s a fair question” called Luther.

“I meant” Five hissed glaring at them “that it’s a sign like any other, it will fade from their arm after three hours.”

Diego wasn’t sure why or how, but Five had quickly become a sort guru of soulmates. Well, to be fair they all turned to him whenever there was something they didn’t know and Five was all too happy to explain, even if he did it with snarky comments on their level of intelligence.

“But… I wonder if it will open the bond” Ben mused looking at them through the mirror “I mean, mine is already open since I’ve written to my soulmate too, but you guys haven’t made contact with yours yet…”

Five exhaled sharply and stated “The bond can only be opened when the writing comes from you. Since it’s Pogo that will tattoo us then the bond will stay close.”

There was a collective moment of relief coming from Diego, Klaus and Luther. The thought of having something so intimate taken away from them was enough to make them all restless.

When they got out of the bathroom, Diego found himself staring at Klaus’ arm feeling a bit weird at the thought that someone out there had Klaus as a soulmate.

Diego disliked that person immediately.

Diego puked all over Luther the moment the needles pierced Allison’s skin.

Luther’s shrill screaming would have been funny had he not been too busy trying to suppress another wave of nausea.

Of course his father didn’t do anything. He simply told Pogo to hurry as Klaus took Allison’s place, the latter crying her eyes out.

Diego kept his eyes firmly clenched shut, he really didn’t need to be sick again watching Klaus getting tattooed. He could swear he could already feel the needles on his skin when he heard his poor brother sob. The need to throw up was almost overwhelming as his arm tingled in the exact spot the tattoo was soon going to be.

Vaguely, he heard Dad lead Vanya away after finding out she had written on her skin the Umbrella symbol, calling her a stupid girl for trying to communicate to his soulmate.

When Vanya tried to defend herself saying that she was only trying to be a part of team, Diego felt anger rise in him. Who would want to be a part of this? She was _lucky_.

When he managed to open his eyes again he locked his gaze on Five’s.

The boy was busy staring at his wrist: what was there? Diego leaned forward to get a better look but Five pushed his sleeves up and frowned at him, his gaze flickering to Diego’s own wrist, eyes widening in surprise.

In that moment Klaus gave a particularly loud sob and distracted Diego from Five’s weird staring, noticing with dread that he was next.

Diego sat down and made sure to look far away from the needles, again closing his eyes.

He went through it all and by the time all his brothers had been marked, he had puked again twice.

He was the last one to leave the room, as his father had made him clean up after his mess. The pain in his stomach and on his wrist was so strong that he almost didn’t hear Pogo whisper to his father as he was leaving the room.

“Your theories were correct.”

He saw a creepy smile growing on his father’s face “Did you figure out the pairs?”

He didn’t hear Pogo’s reply, they had already walked away.

He didn’t think much of it, Pogo and Dad were always talking of their weird researches.

The only thing he could think of was how that had to be the first sign his soulmate had from him. A stupid umbrella.

When they would make their big reveal to the world maybe Eric would understand who he was. Would he turn his back on him? Think of him as a freak?

**2003** ~~~~

Diego was fourteen now, he was famous, he was a hero.

A hero had no fear. A hero knew nothing but their mission.

A mantra that he had to repeat to himself every day. Even so, he did have his fears.

The concept of soulmates scared him more than he’d like to admit.

Panic cursed through him every time he thought about writing to Eric and finally opening the bond. It was a terror that was so deeply rooted inside of him that it had become an instinct.

Talking of soulmates was a taboo for all of his siblings. Well, most of the time.

Klaus being stoned out of his mind most days of the week gave him no concept whatsoever of taboos. But he did come up with quite interesting theories.

They had a bet going on about Luther and Allison: Klaus said that they were soulmates which had kind of disgusted Diego because he really didn’t need to think about Luther that way.

As it was, Diego lost his ten dollars to Klaus’ gleaming smile and Ben’s shaking head that very afternoon, when he walked into the attic in search of some peace and quiet after his training in the tank and had been graced with a very traumatising sight.

Luther had cornered him that very evening, begging him to never tell Dad about it, that Allison was his soulmate and that he was absolutely terrified of what would happen to them if Hargreeves ever found out.

He wished he could have enjoyed the golden boy’s failure a lot more but he couldn’t find humour in the situation. It was fucked up. The dread in Luther’s eyes was sincere and quite disconcerting, what’s more was the very thought of Luther and Allison being in danger only because they were soulmates.

Diego hated Luther and he never really cared for Allison, but he was his brother and she was his sister for fuck’s sake, he would never cause them any harm.

So he pretended not to know anything, his only reaction being the money he gave to Klaus.

Another birthday had gone by without Five and his absence was as hard on all of them as it had been on the first day of his disappearance.

Diego had never really bonded with him but he felt a lump in his throat every time he looked at the awful painting. 

A lot of things had changed since Five’s departure.

Diego could feel the tension in the household all the time from the way his father seemed to forget all about Five after putting up the picture, to the way Luther and Allison completely isolated themselves from the other siblings.

Luther had managed to fight with Ben, the only one apart from Allison to really tolerate him. Ben hadn’t talked to him in months, though he wouldn’t tell Diego what happened. Allison, on the other hand, didn’t hang out with Klaus anymore, not even with Vanya, she only cared about her interviews and Luther.

Diego still enjoyed spending his time with Ben and Klaus though their hangouts felt a lot gloomier, the weed being the only thing that made Ben laugh.

There were days when Diego missed Five desperately, but he never said it out loud and distracted himself by making sure that Ben was okay, since he was the one who was closest to Five, apart from Vanya.

She wasn’t holding up well from what Diego had noticed.

Five was the only one who cared enough to include her sometimes. Diego really couldn’t be bothered, he had more important problems to think about than a shy and ordinary girl.

Still, he thought that the universe had been particularly cruel to his sister in the last year. Not only had she lost Five, but her soulmate as well. He had found out by chance, overhearing Vanya crying on Mum’s shoulder some days after Five’s disappearance, louder than she’s ever been.

“I think my soulmate died, Mum” she wailed. “I can’t feel him anymore. He’s gone, Mum, he’s really gone”

Mum should have informed Dad about this or at least pried a bit more to see if she had contacted her soulmate since Vanya had gone as far as mentioning a gender. Seven was either very stupid or very desperate.

Diego knew that the bond was strong, once it was severed by your soulmate’s death you felt empty. But these were just words to him, he couldn’t understand such desperation.

The only one who had reacted with a quiet acceptance to their new life without Five was Klaus, who had gone as far as making a bet with him on what had happened to their brother. Later, Klaus confessed that Dad had spent weeks and weeks after Five’s disappearance trying to get him to conjure him, and every once in a while he would have to try again. Klaus told him that most his nightmares now included him managing to conjure his brother.

But it never happened.

And here they were, two years or so later and Diego found himself in the library with Ben waiting for Klaus to come back from his individual training, knowing he would need their comfort.

“Have you ever contacted your soulmate?” Ben asked him suddenly, face half buried in his book.

“No.” Diego replied and it was the truth, he never had. “But he wrote to me. Multiple times.”

Ben lifted his gaze from his book curiously “And you never answered back?”

Diego shrugged, not wanting to be judged by his brother.

“Well, I understand it really.” Ben said “I wished I had never contacted mine.”

That was not what Diego expected to hear. “You were the first to initiate contact?”

“Yes.” Ben gulped. “Klaus told me that Dad doesn’t look at the cameras after about 2AM - don’t ask me how he knows that - so I wrote to her.”

“Her?”

Ben smiled with a glint in his eyes he had never seen before “Mélodie.”

Diego encouraged to tell him more with a nod of his head.

“She’s French. I couldn’t understand a thing the first time she wrote back to me so we started making drawings to each other and then I payed more attention in our French lessons. Klaus helped me with it.”

“Why do you regret contacting her? You seem happy with her.” Diego asked.

Ben smiled bitterly before talking again, eyes clouded with a sorrow Diego couldn’t comprehend.

“When Dad pokes around the bond with his tests and examinations, I… we…” Ben paused, distressed “She can feel it as well, it’s not… It’s just an awful feeling. That bond is mine. She is mine, he is getting in the way of something that should remain ours. It hurts, Diego. I released the monster on accident once. I almost killed Pogo.”

Diego shivered in anger at Ben’s words “They deserve it. They shouldn’t hurt you.”

“Well…” Ben diverted his gaze and quickly changed the subject “I love talking to her, even if it’s in secret, but I wish I never wrote to her. I’m hurting her.”

“ _He_ ’s hurting you both. Not you, Ben” Diego insisted.

“Doesn’t change much in the end, does it?” Ben said with a bitter smile.

They stayed silent, suddenly the air felt heavy on them.

“You said it’s a him” Ben poked, but Diego wasn’t willing to share information with Ben about Eric. It didn’t feel right.

Ben understood the rejection for what it was and diverted the subject once again.

“Did you know that Five figured out who his soulmate was?”

“Really?” Diego was actually surprised, he knew that Five was clever but he didn’t think that was possible “Was it through one of his weird equations?”

“No idea. He wouldn’t even tell me their name.” Ben mused, lost in memories.

They saw movement in the garden from the window and spotted Mum carrying Klaus to the infirmary.

“Let’s go” Diego hurried out of the library, all thoughts of soulmates forgotten.

**2005**

Diego couldn’t feel anything but anger build inside his chest.

His eyes were glued to Ben’s smiley face on the picture of his tomb. Everything felt so far away from him. This must be a dream, a nightmare, he would wake up and meet Ben at breakfast like any other day.

But it wasn’t.

The snow was falling relentlessly during the funeral, dampening his trousers but he couldn’t be bothered.

Angry. _Powerless._

He never wanted to experience those feelings again.

Ben’s dead. Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead.

Flashes of the mission kept going on repeat in his head, the sound of the gun, the silence of Ben’s heart.

Dad’s accusation rang heavy the air, he could feel Klaus trembling beside him but didn’t offer any kind of reassurance as he usually did, he didn’t have it in him. There were no reassurances to be made.

Ben had died. And it was their fault.

As much as Diego was seething at his dad’s words _You didn’t help. You failed your brother_ they were the truth.

Vanya had the audacity to tell them it wasn’t anybody’s fault and finally his anger had an outlet.

“You weren’t there, Vanya.” He lashed out. “It was _our_ fault!”

Ignoring Vanya’s tears as she ran away, he zeroed in on Allison who spoke up “Shut up, Diego.”

Now he really couldn’t help himself.

The trigger man was dead. He had killed him himself.

But the cause of their brother’s death was right in front of him and that was unacceptable to him.

He didn’t care that Luther and Allison had already suffered the consequences. He understood that but he didn’t care.

“Shut up? SHUT UP?” he pointed at the two of them, their eyes wide and full of tears. “You killed him! You and your fucking bond! If you had the decency to tell Dad that you are soulmates when you found out, we wouldn’t have been in this position! He wouldn’t have died!”

“You don’t know that!” Luther screamed, desperation lacing his voice.

“Everyone does, and so do you! You have Ben’s blood on your hands!” Diego knew he wasn’t being fair, knew he was talking about things he didn’t understand.

Ben had been the one out of place in the mission, he shouldn’t have been there, but when Luther saw the perp with the gun… he hadn’t protected his brother who was directly in the line of fire, but he went straight to Allison instead, leaving him to die.

Allison ran away sobbing and Luther followed her, unable to hold Diego’s gaze.

Diego looked at Ben’s tomb and when he felt a tear run down his cheek, he stomped away leaving Klaus on his own.

That night his arm tingled with a message.

_Please. I need to talk to you._

Diego seethed. Fucking soulmates. Dad was right about them too, they had caused Ben’s death.

He hated Eric even though he knew it wasn’t his fault.

But Eric was normal, he was living a better life, while he had just lost his brother. Eric had no right to ask him for help when soulmates were the cause of his sorrow.

Another message was slowly scribbled.

_I’m alone. Please._

Diego screamed on his pillow and, not caring about being seen, being tested, not caring – and for the first time in his life he really, really couldn’t care less – about his soulmate he wrote to him at last.

_I don’t need you. Fuck off._

Ben’s death had changed them all.

Luther became the perfect little soldier. If he was considered the golden boy before, after his mistake in hiding his bond, he re entered his father’s graces almost immediately. He stopped talking to Allison, stopped looking at her, ended any kind of contact to the point where he started sleeping in a room on the other wing of the Academy.

Allison was never in the house. She started going out with Klaus on parties, Diego distinctly heard a stranger boy’s voice in her room once. She steadily got more and more disinterested in her training, preferring interviews and photoshoots instead.

Their soulmate bond was practically severed.

Klaus didn’t have anything to hold him back anymore. He was drunk at every hour of the day, high with something that most definitely wasn’t weed. Diego hadn’t seen him use his power in months. He still cared deeply about him but he couldn’t stand seeing him like that and he felt too broken himself to do something about it. It was so much easier to just turn his eyes the other way when he saw Klaus wasting himself away.

He managed to stay in that place for a whole year.

He did it for Mum because he was the only one who truly cared about her and he didn’t want to leave her alone with people who only saw her as a robot.

He did it for Klaus, because even though he didn’t have the energy to stop him from making bad choices, he really didn’t want to wake up to another dead brother. Not Klaus. He wouldn’t be able to stand it.

But enough was enough.

He was zipping the last of his bags, window wide open to make a hasty retreat.

“Are you running away?” Klaus’ voice reached him as he shoved the bag over his back.

He stopped, guilty.

Klaus’ eyes were red from the drugs and he was leaning heavily on the doorframe, though he doubted that had anything to do with his high but more with the sadness that had suddenly twisted his features.

“Yeah” he admitted, no use in lying.

He waited for Klaus to get angry at him, scream and punch and accuse him. He would have accepted it. He was abandoning him.

But Klaus managed to surprise him and make him feel awful at the same time as he smiled and nodded hesitantly “Good luck, Diego.”

Diego had always insisted with Klaus that he should get angry more often, fight more and not forgive as easily as he did, but in that moment he felt so grateful for his brother’s peaceful and loving nature that he allowed himself to be a bit of an hypocrite.

Klaus hugged him and Diego held him close for a few minutes, melting in his embrace.

“What will you do?”

“I don’t know.” Diego admitted resting his chin on his brother’s curls, getting as much comfort from him as he could.

They separated and Diego moved closer to the window.

“Will you look for your soulmate?” Klaus asked before he could go.

Diego looked at his sincere face and shook his head with a frown. He leaped through the window, not looking back.

He was going to start over.

**2010**

Finding the right path hadn’t been easy, but soon he was able to live a normal life.

A life with friends, with boyfriends and girlfriends, worries about paying the rent and dreams about the future.

When he got into the police academy, he found peace. He had also found Eudora.

The police force wasn’t exactly his dream job, there were way too many papers to be filled for his liking, but he was going to help people. The right way.

On the other hand, Eudora was fantastic and he was almost sad that she wasn’t called Eric.

They didn’t talk much about their soulmates, but from what he understood she was a bit disillusioned by the whole concept. Her soulmate was apparently Japanese as the kanji that sometimes appeared on her arm showed and she told him none of the two ever made an effort to understand each other and the case was closed.

_“Mélodie. She is French.”_

Ben’s voice resonated in his head in a painful flashback when they had that conversation, but he quickly masked it.

When Eudora asked about Eric he told her some bullshit about not being interested in them. Ben’s death was public knowledge, but the circumstances weren’t and Diego really didn’t want to relive them at all.

Eric for his part had left him alone for a few years. Diego’s anger at the poor guy had subsided but he never found the strength nor the courage to contact him.

A small doubt in the back of his mind made itself known every time he thought about his soulmate.

He wished for the first time in years that Five was there to explain to him with easy words another mystery of soulmates.

That terrible night after the funeral, when he had first contacted Eric, telling him to stop writing he had expected to feel something. Anything. After all, he should have opened the bond by finally responding to him. Yet, he couldn’t feel anything.

Was there something wrong with him?

This doubt resolved itself once Eric started writing to him again, hesitantly, first in the form of stupid drawings then in mindless chatter that was, as always, never answered back.

But for the first time, he could feel it. He could feel him.

The faintest thrum in his heart, in his mind, told Diego that he did open the bond after all.

It was so weak sometimes Diego felt physically sick. Maybe that’s why he hadn’t felt it at first.

Eric was as chaotic as he had been during all his time in the academy, bouncing from one subject to the other.

Diego once woke up with his whole arm covered in writings and found himself almost laughing at it. Then he remembered the sound of the gun going off, Ben’s body falling on the ground, Luther’s empty eyes when he looked at Allison from afar.

He didn’t answer him.

He was finally 21. Wasted at a pub, holding Eudora’s waist as they danced with their friends. He was happy.

When he got home and hopped to bed with her he absentmindedly wondered what his other siblings were doing. He kept an eye on all of them, of course. He was too afraid of having another funeral.

Luther was still at the academy, and that was enough for Diego.

Allison had become a star, quite unsurprising.

Vanya kept playing her violin and Diego only bumped into her once or twice and they both pretended not to know each other.

Klaus. He was the one that Diego checked into more and the one who gave him more worries than anyone else. He was officially an addict now and Diego had lost count of the times he helped him out of dodgy situations to dump him straight into rehabs.

They “bumped” into each other every two or three months either by pure chance or because Diego hadn’t seen him for too long and started worrying.

His arm tingled, distracting him from his own thoughts.

_What do you think of sarongs?_

He read on his arm and what the hell was a sarong anyway.

_Well I rock it._

Eudora rolled to his side and hugged him, drunkenly kissing his neck. He grinned, forgetting the words on his arm and loosing himself in his new life.

**2014**

Who would have thought Vanya had it in her.

He gave another well assessed punch to the cover of the book, trying to will away the betrayal he felt.

The last three years of his life had him tumble down a black hole, more precisely a boiler room in a gym managed by a repressed man.

He had become a janitor who boxed when no one else could turn up for a match and a vigilante by night. Yet, he had never had he been more at ease. Of course, his life was shit and he had barely any money for himself, but he had never felt so free.

He didn’t regret leaving Eudora and the police force. They were both too strict. He played by his own rules.

His story with Eudora had been short, they weren’t good for each other, it would have been much better to just be friends and not take it any further. Right now, he still saw her between one vigilante stunt and the other but she didn’t talk to him anymore. He didn’t talk to her either.

He was okay in his gym and in his vigilante suit, taking out scum from the streets instead of filling papers all day. That’s all he ever asked for.

He liked saving lives, feeling like a hero.

That’s why his world crumbled abruptly one night, while he was mopping the floor, listening to the police station for anything interesting.

Suddenly he felt … empty.

His heart started beating faster and a sense of void he had never experienced before made him lightheaded. He felt lonely, he felt half. Like he was torn and he was suffering the echo of someone else’s pain.

Eric.

He scrambled to his feet, the realization of what was happening hitting him hard and leaving breathless once again. He had to move. He had to find him. He had to go to him NOW.

Where?

He didn’t know who Eric was, where he lived.

His soulmate was dying, he was probably already dead and he couldn’t do anything but feel this void inside of him where Eric once resided.

Was he going to feel this way for the rest of his life now?

Then as suddenly as it had appeared it was gone, he could breathe normally again and that dreadful sensation disappeared.

He sat on boxing ground still shocked. Without thinking about he was doing, driven only by pure desperation he launched himself to Al’s desk grabbing the first pen he could find and wrote hastily on his arm.

_WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT_

Sure, it wasn’t the best he could have come up with but the thought of that awful emptiness he had felt from within still lingered on his mind so excuse him for writing the first thing that came to him.

He didn’t receive any answer for two whole hours.

During that time, Diego held onto the bond, incapable of doing anything else but assure himself that it was still there, that weird and too often ignored presence in his mind, in his soul. He focused solely on that, silently cherishing it.

_Oh, hello to you too_

Diego was displeased to see that the writing was scrappier than usual and he was clearly avoiding the question.

_Answer me._

He insisted when his fucking soulmate didn’t write anything more.

 _So you do care about me, then_ the idiot had the audacity to write. Diego breathed deeply then decided to call it a night. He would lie down and never think about this again.

He was about the go to the boiler room when he stopped, again acting on instinct.

 _ Never _ _do that again._

He closed the lights and made sure that the front door was locked, finally falling on his bed. He looked at his arm and saw a shaky drawing of a heart.

“Prick” he whispered and fell asleep hoping to never feel that way again.

A month later and he had finished taking out a robber in a small shop, was finally about to lie on his bed and call it a night when he realized someone had entered his boiler room.

He threw the knife and a shriek let him know exactly who it was.

“How many times have I told you, Klaus? You’re going to get stabbed one of these days!” he reprimanded his brother, taking two steps at a time.

“Well, stop throwing knives then!” his brother demanded disdainfully from where he was seated on the bed in the darkness. He could picture his pout in his mind.

Glad that he got to see his brother after three months of nothing, he turned on the lights and his smiled disappeared as quickly as it had come.

“What the hell happened to you?”

Klaus’ eye was black and closed, his clothes ripped apart, forehead bloody and lips cut. From the way he was holding himself he definitely had bruised ribs. Hopefully not broken.

Diego approached him giving him a once over and Klaus sniffed “Someone really can’t take a joke.”

Diego breathed deeply, calling all his patience to him “Who did you offend this time?”

“Some closeted asshole, for sure” Klaus huffed when Diego took the first aid kit and sat on the bed next to him, getting ready to clear his wounds.

“Name, Klaus. I need a name” he urged his brother. Someone was going to get stabbed.

Klaus smiled sweetly and then winced once the cut on his lip reopened. Diego cursed, and hurried to bandage the worse looking scrapes, applying cream on the bruises that littered his brother’s body.

“You need to be more careful. It could end badly for you.” Diego scolded him, trying to look angry at him rather than worried.

“Because this is a happy ending?” Klaus slurred his words, eyes fluttering close in exhaustion.

“You know what I mean.”

By the time he patched him up Klaus was already asleep in his bed, shivering every now and then. Diego sighed, bringing him the warmest blankets he could find and taking off his shoes.

When he draped the blanket over him and was about to crash on his couch, Klaus stirred “Wait, where are you going?”

“To sleep idiot. You too, come on.” he gritted out, messing Klaus’ hair affectionately.

“Stay here” he mumbled, half asleep. “Please”

Diego sighed but couldn’t find it in him to say no.

He laid down with a face full of curls and a skinny body wrapped around him like an octopus. He was too warm and the bed certainly wasn’t made for two. He had never felt safer.

He stroked Klaus’ back, waiting for sleep to take over him, observing his brother’s face and promising him that he would try and take better care of him. He kissed his forehead and closed his eyes, with his lips still pressed to the medium’s clammy skin.

He woke up the morning after to an empty bed and an empty fridge. At least he knew Klaus had a meal in him.

As he showered, he noticed a writing on his arm that made him pause.

_I think I’m in love with someone that isn’t you._

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! :3  
> here's my tumblr (wanderer-451.tumblr.com/)


End file.
